


decision making for dummies

by cosmiqueseulgi (sevenfifteenam)



Category: Mamamoo, Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Sad Ending, bet, blink and you'll miss wheebyul, i think..., idk ma, moonseul if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:35:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22744132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sevenfifteenam/pseuds/cosmiqueseulgi
Summary: yongsun tries very hard to take the right decisions (but sometimes, trying just isn't enough).
Relationships: Kim Yongsun | Solar/Moon Byulyi | Moonbyul
Comments: 3
Kudos: 40





	decision making for dummies

**Author's Note:**

> hello, this is a repost from aff (@cosmiqueseulgi)...  
> i know i said it would be a two shot but truth is, i have no idea how to go on about this, oops...  
> (i couldn't help but cringe whenever i re-read it lmfao so i didn't really go over it)  
> happy post valentine's day <3

Yongsun really hadn’t meant wrong, when she had bragged about the number of boys who had fallen for her in the past- she’d only done it as a joke, but the girls had been unhinged that night and invested in a very wild game of truth and dare at the time. This had prompted Yongsun’s friend, Soomin, to dare her to prove it by seducing some underclassmen girl who was rumored to be a lesbian (a rumor which had been neither denied nor confirmed by said girl), all under Hyejin’s perplexed gaze. And of course, she hadn’t been able to say no.

“This just sounds... wrong,” Yongsun started, “What am I going to do if she… Ends up being, like… really into me?” Yongsun had asked. Soomin just shrugged at her friend's question.

“Just let her down easy... She doesn’t even have to know," she said, noticing the sullen look on Yongsun's face, "Come on... it'll be fun...” Soomin winked and nudged her in the shoulder. Yongsun rolled her eyes, and reluctantly agreed to her. Soomin beamed at her upon learning it, and at that moment, Yongsun wondered how immature her friend could get.

"By the way" Soomin started, "I'm only giving you three months to do it." 

Yongsun groaned.

Byulyi was seated at one of the lunch tables, alone, trying to focus on her meal despite the defeaning noise the other students were making around her. Unfortunately, her appetite was near non-existent- she didn’t see any appeal in eating, or in anything much these days. Life was getting excruciatingly repetitive, to the point where she couldn't bear it anymore.

The only things she was looking forward to these days was the moments she got to spend with Wheein- and even then, they barely got to spend any time together due to their clashing schedules.

Byulyi truly felt she was alone in this world, sometimes. She was so engrossed in her own thoughts that she didn't notice Yongsun staring at her from a distance.

_"God, what a stupid fucking idea_ ," she thought at she eyed the girl, who was silently eating her lunch. She started walking towards the table Byulyi was seated as. _You can do this._

Byulyi was startled when someone suddenly slammed their tray down on the table she was sitting at, before settling down right in front of her. She recognized the girl as Kim Yongsun, a girl who was a year above her- Byulyi barely knew anything about her, except for the fact that she was friends with one of Wheein’s friends.

“Is it okay if I sit there?” She asked. Byulyi awkwardly nodded, her gaze fixated on her lunch. After a very long and uncomfortable minute during which Byulyi only wanted to hide under the table, Yongsun spoke up, “So… Moon Byulyi, right? I’ve seen you around.”

Byulyi was shocked to learn Yongsun knew her name, “Uh… I guess,” she timidly answered. She really didn’t know what Yongsun was doing or wanted from her. _Didn’t she have friends she could sit next to?_

After silently debating whether staying was worth it, Byulyi decided she was too uncomfortable with the situation and took the decision to leave the table.

She pretended not to feel the holes Yongsun's stare was burning in her back as she walked away.

“So?” Soomin asked the second Yongsun joined her at the lockers, “I saw you sitting with her at lunch.”

“Yeah, and?” Yongsun was annoyed enough at her friend for dragging her into this mess of a situation, and being monitored by her friend the whole time just seemed like the cherry on top.

“Well, that didn’t work very well, did it?” Soomin smirked at her friend. She, contrarily to her friend, seemed to be enjoying every second of it. Yongsun was starting to wonder whether Soomin had the ability to feel empathy.

“Just give me some time, okay?” Yongsun glared at her friend, “She’s probably just shy. I’ll get her to open up.”

“Get who to open up?” Joohyun popped up behind Yongsun, “What are you guys talking about?" she inquired, narrowing her eyes, "Please tell me this isn’t something illegal.”

Yongsun tried to change the subject, knowing her friend would probably disapprove, but Joohyun didn't seem to want to let it go. She really wasn’t in the mood to receive a lecture from her friend and knew she’d sooner or later start feeling guilty- a stage she wasn’t really wasn’t eager to reach.

“Just tell me,” Joohyun urged, getting impatient, “How bad can it be?”

“Fine, promise me you won’t get mad,” Yongsun said, knowing that this was the only way she would make it out of this situation alive.

“I won’t get mad,” Joohyun paused for a second, “Probably.”

Yongsun elbowed Soomin, “You tell her, it was your idea.”

Soomin sighed, before clearing her throat.

“Imayormaynothavedaredyongtodecudesomerandomunderclassmen,” she muttered under her breath. Joohyun raised an eyebrow and shot her a perplexed look, urging her to say more. Yongsun, instead of doing so, decided to elbow Soomin in the arm instead.

Soomin sighed, “Fine. I may, or may not, have dared Yong to… Seduce some random girl on a dare... You know... Nothing big.”

Joohyun’s eyes immediately widened. She remained speechless for a few seconds, closing and opening her mouth like a fish. She knew Soomin could be insensitive, but never thought it would reach this level. She disapprovingly shook her head, “I-" She tried to regain her composure, "I do not want to be associated with this nonsense in any way, shape, or form,” she said, pointing her finger at both girls, before shaking her head and walking away.

Yongsun took out her phone, scrolling through Instagram, when Soomin suddenly pinched Yongsun.

She glared at her friend in confusion, “What the hell was that for?”

“Your girlfriend is here,” she whispered, subtly pointing at the Byulyi, was taking a book out of her locker, “Maybe you should talk to her.”

“Shut up,” Yongsun said, but still started walking towards Byulyi.

She plastered a smile on her face, “Hi.”

Once again, Byulyi was startled: this was the second time Yongsun had tried to talk to her that day, so she now knew Yongsun sitting next to her at lunch was intentional, but she still couldn’t find any reason as to why. She hadn’t been able to concentrate at all at the library because she was so busy overacting their interaction, though she had just attributed to Yongsun not really knowing where to sit, but now she had the confirmation that it hadn’t just been a coincidence.

And, if anything, she was disturbed by it. It’s not like she was disliked or anything, or if she was, then she wasn’t aware of it. She had always known not to trust teenagers though- those were sneaky. She knew life wasn’t a movie, and, as glad she was for bullying being the things she did not have to deal with, she wished people in real life were as honest with their intentions as in they tended to be in fiction.

“Can I help you?” Byulyi inquired. Just because she knew Yongsun seemed to want to talk to her doesn’t mean she was any more enlightened as to why.

Yongsun froze. What could she say? _Quick, quick_ , “Uh, I heard you were really good at algebra.” Yongsun had no idea whether that was true, she had guessed so from what little information she had managed to fish out of a reluctant Hyejin, “I just thought you could help me with a few things?”

“I- Aren’t you… a year above me though?”

“U-uh…” Yongsun stammered. “Yeah…”

Yongsun was saved when Wheein came and tugged on Byulyi’s bag, “Hey, we need to go. Oh, hi Yongsun,” she politely smiled before leading Byulyi away.

“Hi," Yongsun said, before leaving.

“What did she want?” Wheein asked her as they were walking to their History classroom, “I’ve never seen you two talk before…” She vaguely knew Yongsun due to them being friends with Hyejin, but nothing more- though she well enough that the former really had no reason to try and talk to Byulyi.

Byulyi frowned, “I’m not sure…” 

“Okay, well. I’ll just ask Hyejin about it..." Wheein looked aver her shoulder to see Yongsun was gone. Wheein raised an eyebrow, before deciding to drop the subject. "Anyways, did I tell you about how I found my math book right under my kitchen sink?”

-

The next day, the same thing happened. Byulyi ate her lunch alone, not really expecting anyone to sit next to her. Yongsun hadn’t made any attemps to speak to her since the previous day, and she hadn’t expected the other girl to do so.

She was about to leave for the library, as she would during most lunch breaks, when someone poked her shoulder, causing her to turn around.

“Hi!” Yongsun said, seemingly out of breath, “Where are you going?”

“Uh… The library…” She said, adjusting the strap of her bag on her shoulder.

“Oh, can I join you? I have some exercises I want to do before class,” Yongsun lied. If she were to be honest, she despised the library. She was always forced to tone it down, and Yongsun hated being told to be quiet.

Yongsun had sat next to Byulyi in the library, barely getting anything done, and had been kind of touchy with the girl, which Byulyi was intrigued with- despite not usually being uncomfortable with skinship, not knowing the reason Yongsun had seemed to take an interest in her was sending her into hysterics.

Yongsun had sat next to Byulyi for the next few weeks at lunch. They had established some sort of routine that consisted of them eating lunch together every Monday, Tuesday and Friday, and walking home together essentially every day, to the latter’s dismay- not that she didn’t like the girl, because really, she did. She had much less trouble talking to Yongsun despite still being wary around her- the main problem was that she still had no idea what Yongsun exactly wanted from her. Clearly, needing help had been a lie since Yongsun was a year above her and was decent at math once she stopped procrastinating, but she didn’t know whether asking was a good idea. Maybe Yongsun would tell her once the right moment came.

_Still, it was stressful._

They had also discovered a mutual love for f(x), which had led them to fight about which one of their title tracks was the best: Byulyi insisted that it was 4 Walls while Yongsun argued with a her might the it was Red Light, and were very close to actually physically fight- in the end they had burst into laughter at how at how ridiculous they were. If Byulyi were to be honest, she was getting just the tiniest bit enamoured with the other girl.

Something Yongsun took great notice of: she’d give the lightest of touches, making sure their hands occasionally when they were walking side to side, internally smirking when she’d spot the faintest hint of pink colouring her friend’s cheeks. Just enough to leave her hanging. Byulyi was all soft touches and stolen glances, and Yongsun knew she was entering dangerous territory here.

But, if Yongsun were to be real too, she’d admit the reason she always got so flustered by the other girl wasn’t solely by fear of being caught.

Which was why Yongsun, on the other hand, was a bit of a mess. She really hadn’t considered that this dare would involve feelings, which, when she thought of it, made her want to rip her hair out. It had only been a few weeks but she already regretted it not telling Soomin off when she still could- she’d share a moment with Byulyi and see her smile like she’s never seen before, and she’d feel happy too, but only for the shortest amount of time.

Then the inevitable feelings of guilt came crashing in- and, in this case, her conscience also came in the form of a certain Bae Joohyun. Her friend had taken to the lovely habit texting Yongsun right when she was hanging out with Byulyi- Yongsun despised it, but Soomin thought it was hilarious. Yongsun was seriously beginning to wonder whether her friend was able to feel any empathy, though she guessed if she was so willing to go with the dare in the first place, she probably wasn’t so much better.

She didn’t know what to do, or how she felt anymore. This was just a stupid, cruel dare, right? After this, she decided they would all move on and pretend it never happened.

She didn’t know whether she was relieved, or even more terrified about the prospect of it all ending. Yongsun knew she’d come out as a loser, no matter the outcome: whether that made her feel better or worse, she couldn't tell.

But then, Seulgi came around. By that time, Yongsun had mastered the art of overthinking, but the idea of the two being together made her question everything she'd ever wanted. Seulgi was new to the school, Byulyi had told her. She and Byulyi had bonded over the fact that that Byulyi’s sister was also named Seulgi, and the two had become friends, to Wheein’s delight- she was just being happy for her friend, and hadn't done anything wrong, but it was all to Yongsun’s utmost dismay. Sometimes, it felt like Seulgi was constantly clinging to Byulyi as if she was holding on for dear life, which only meant Yongsun couldn’t hand around as much as she wanted.

And the only reason she wanted to spend time with Byulyi is that she wanted to get this stupid dare over with, nothing else. _Not because of the way Byulyi’s nose crinkled up when she smiled, or her habit of always complaining about her left shoulder hurting despite only ever carrying the bag on said shoulder, or the way she’d never able to hold in her laughter completely whenever Yongsun made a weird face, or the hundreds of additional reasons Yongsun might have wanted to spend time with her._

_Not at all._

“So, you seem to really like Seulgi,” Yongsun asked, as she and Byulyi sat next to each other at the library.

“Well, she’s really nice… And her cats are cute,” She looked up from her exercise sheet, before turning her head to look Yongsun. “Did you know she used to have a pet chick?”

Byulyi really seemed to have taken a liking to her, and, to be fair, Yongsun understood why: Seulgi was nice, athletic, and, even though her jokes rarely ever made anyone laugh, her smile was more infectious that a cold during a harsh winter. By some miracle, she had even managed to befriend Joohyun, despite the latter being the biggest introvert on earth.

But, Yongsun wasn’t jealous. After all, she had never been jealous of Wheein, despite of the very tight bond she and Byulyi shared, so why would that change with Seulgi?

“Oh…” Yongsun attributed the nagging feeling in her stomach to the guilt associated with the dare, even though said feeling only came when Byulyi praised her new friend.

_Denial was one hell of a drug._

Byulyi pretended she didn’t see the way her friend’s face fell at her comment- surely, she must have been dreaming? She kept scribbling something about algebra and math equations, when she felt someone’s hand intertwine with her free hand. She cleared her throat, “Unnie…” She said, staring at their hands, “You’re probably going to need that hand to write.” Yongsun quickly retracted her hand, looking down her book, feeling the heat creep up her face, her heart almost leaping out of her chest.

“I can’t believe you told him that,” Byulyi had exclaimed, while they were hanging out at Yongsun's house, talking about past crushes while painting each other’s nails. “He must have been furious,” she said, while adding another layer of red nail polish to Yongsun’s finger.

“Oh, he was livid. It was pretty funny.”

Neither of them had said anything for a while, “So… How about you? Any embarrassing past crushes?” She asked. Byulyi stopped her movement for a second, before starting again. She took a deep breath.

“Hm, you know, Jung Soojung? She moved away, recently... Well, I used to have, like, the biggest crush on her. I don’t think I was very discreet about it, either.” She looked up to see Yongsun’s reaction but was met with a blank expression.

“I- Can I ask you something?”

“Yes?”

“How did you know, that you were… you know…” Byulyi raised an eyebrow at the question. She knew exactly what Yongsun meant- after all, she was well aware of the rumours that floated her around her- she may have been a bit isolated, but she wasn’t completely oblivious, but in the end she was left alone more than she was bullied, which she was more than thankful for.

“How did you know that you liked girls?” She asked. Byulyi paused for a second, before picking it up and applying the nail polish again. She tilted her head to her left.

“Same way girls like you realise they’re into boys… It’s not like it’s something I can explain. It takes a fair amount of time to come to terms with it, though…” Yongsun’s breath hitched when Byulyi raised her head a little, making eye contact with her, before focusing on her hand once more, taking another breath, “And, at first, you wonder if there’s something wrong with you…”

“But eventually, you realise that’s who you are. And, even though that’s a part of you that you can’t really hide yourself from, you end up having to hide it from other people. Not me though, I’m not sure how the word got out, but everyone sort of knows about it, now,” she let out a small chuckle, “Also, boys weren’t very nice with me back then. I’m sort of glad I don’t have to deal with them.”

Byulyi finished applying the nail polish to Yongsun’s finger, “There, all done.” Byulyi raised her head to find Yongsun staring at her, “Everything alright?”

Yongsun froze and stammered when she realised what she had been doing. She swallowed a non-existent lump in her throat, “I-I’m- Yes.”

That night, when Byulyi had finally left Yongsun’s house, Yongsun whipped out her phone and instantly texted Joohyun.

**From: kim clownsun**

**To: Joohyunnie**

**(22:16) Hyun?????**

**From: Joohyunnie**

**To: kim clownsun**

**yea? are u still hanging out with her? i told you to stop with this stupid dare. (22:18)**

**From: kim clownsun**

**To: Joohyunnie**

**(22:19) Hush. This might seem weird, but how can you tell when you… like someone. Romantically**

**From: Joohyunnie**

**To: kim clownsun**

**yong, i rly can’t with you. you’ve had crushes in the past, don’t u know how these things work? (22:21)**

**wait,... do u have a crush on someone? lmao (22:22)**

**From: kim clownsun**

**To: Joohyunnie**

**(22:23) Maam...**

**(22:23) Shut up and answer**

**From: Joohyunnie**

**To: kim clownsun**

**only if you tell me who you might be crushing on lmao (22:24)**

**or you could just ask Soomin and Hyejin haha (22:24)**

**From: kim clownsun**

**To: Joohyunnie**

**(22:31) It's Eric. The boy who's next to me in history class**

**From: Joohyunnie**

**To: kim clownsun**

**welp (22:32)**

**rapid heartbeat when you see him? do you turn red when you see him? does the idea of him with someone else send you into hysterics? congrats ma, you have a crush (22:33)**

**i almost wrote “you are pregnant” OOF that would be a much bigger problem to deal with (22:33)**

**wait, since when do u like him? he's nice and all, but i’ve lit rally never seen the two of you interact… (22:34)**

**From: kim clownsun**

**To: Joohyunnie**

**(22:36) Well, I wouldn’t say the idea of seeing her with someone else sends me into hysterics but**

**(22:37) Something like that.**

**From: Joohyunnie**

**To: kim clownsun**

**hold on… her? (22:39)**

**who is it? (22:39)**

**holy shit is it (22:39)**

**yongsun. This is a terrible idea. you’re already going to break this poor girl’s heart and now you’re bringing your own feelings into it? girl,i?????????? (22:41)**

**that's whack, miss Kim (22:41)**

**From: kim clownsun**

**To: Joohyunnie**

**(22:47) I don’t know. I need time to think.**

Yongsun stayed true to her word and didn’t talk to Byulyi for the next few days or so. That was enough to both think this thoroughly and get Joohyun off her back but realised she might have made things worse when Byulyi made no attempts to reach out to her, and instead started spending even more time with Seulgi.

Yongsun wanted to get mad. She really did, before she realised it would be to no use- did she really have the right to get mad, when their friendship was based on lie? She should have been happy that Byulyi had made a new friend, right?

And, in the end, Byulyi did reach out to her. When Yongsun began doing what could only be described as ignoring her, she had figured the other girl probably just needed some space- everyone did at some point. However, after 4 days without hearing from Yongsun and being ignored in the corridors, she had decided to text the other girl. She had kept it short and simple and had been shocked to receive an answer in which Yongsun told her to join her in an empty classroom during lunch time.

Upon entering the classroom, she was expecting everything but to see Yongsun sitting at her desk, crying into her sleeves. Yongsun was crying and babbling about how she really liked Byulyi, which had the merit of not only confusing her to an unimaginable amount, but also left her completely speechless. Byulyi kneeled in front of the desk Yongsun was sitting at.

“What? I don’t get it. How would you hurt me? Wait- did you just say you liked me?” Byulyi had a hard time processing everything Yongsun said, especially since the latter had her head buried in her heads and barely doing any effort to articulate her words. Yongsun nodded but didn’t say anything else. The two stayed silent for an entire minute, before Byulyi spoke up.

“For the record, I really like you too. It’s kind of obvious,” Byulyi said, causing Yongsun to look up. This wasn’t news to the girl, after all, hadn’t she spent the last few weeks taking advantage of said feelings? Yongsun was farther than lost, at the point.

She had two choices:

  * Tell Byulyi the truth. Byulyi would probably be mad and not trust her anymore, but at least her conscience would recover from the trauma of the past seven weeks.
  * Not tell Byulyi the truth, and, with enough chance, she’d never learn about it. Pretend she doesn’t feel guilty about her original disregard for Byulyi’s feelings.



For Joohyun, it would have been an obvious choice. But for Yongsun, who had spent the last days cooped up, stuck with her own mind, and mulling everything over, things were much more complicated.

So, she did the first thing that came to her mind and pulled Byulyi into a kiss.

-

The two hadn’t talked much afterwards- kissing had turned out to be fairly occupying activity, and really, Yongsun couldn’t think about anything else when she had Byulyi’s hands wrapped around her waist, along with Byulyi’s lips against her neck, and when she thinks of it, she’s really glad Byulyi had the genius idea of closing the door when she entered the classroom.

She had been so busy that she hadn’t acknowledged her grumbling stomach, and that she was running on three hours and thirty-seven minutes of sleep. Or the fact that she had just herself a much deeper hole by acting solely on impulse and kissing the other girl.

But, it had been what she wanted, and so she did it. Yongsun didn't think she was a particulary emotional person (the boys she had dated in the past had never stirred anything up in her), Yongsun didn’t know that she could like a person this much- she was sure part of this was just caused by teenage infatuation, but she was ready to throw everything out the window if it meant spending more time with Byulyi.

Something Joohyun had noticed- after all, she had been the first to witness Yongsun’s four day meltdown, and had noticed her friend was harbouring a very suspicious looking bruise on her neck right after she had disappeared without telling anyone (Yongsun being a terrible liar probably also had to do with Joohyun finding out, but she decide to put the blame on Joohyun’s perspicacity).

Neither of them wanted to hide. Maintaining a relationship while being in high school was already enough of a task but having to keep it to themselves probably made it much harder. But, despite Byulyi being somewhat out and Yongsun usually not having a problem with being the centre of attention, Yongsun realised the repercussions going fully public would cause. Maybe it was easier being hidden- Yongsun didn’t have to explain why she wanted to be with Byulyi and Byulyi only to anyone else. She had grown fond all her little habits, like The way she never fully let go of Yongsun’s hand when they were together, or her questionable disdain for blue pens- these little things made Yongsun’s heart grow three sizes, and which scared Yongsun the most- their relationship was so fragile, something she and to keep to herself, because the possibility of being exposed would not only wreck any form of trust Byulyi had in her, but it would also leave Yongsun alone and heartbroken.

There were a lot of things Byulyi learned about Yongsun after they started dating.

Byulyi didn’t even think Yongsun herself knew how on edge she appeared to be, sometimes. If a few months ago, someone had told Byulyi that the girl who had confidently approached her at lunch would turn out to be a nervous mess half of the time, she would have laughed in their face. (But, if someone had told her she’d end up dating said girl, she would have laughed in their face as well, so maybe first impressions don’t matter all that much.)

On a cold December day, both Byulyi and Yongsun were laying down, Byulyi’s head buried in Yongsun’s neck, and had been talking about terrible middle school experiences, to which Byulyi liked to joke about how it all came down to terrible experiences with them, and the subject had somehow drifted to their current ones.

“I really didn’t believe you liked me at first,” Byulyi said, “I was scared it would be an elaborate prank. I mean, there wasn’t a real reason for you to talk to me so, I figured...”

Yongsun kissed Byulyi’s head as to reassure this was not the case, and the latter pretended not to notice the way her girlfriend's arm stiffened around her waist.

Joohyun’s incessant nagging may have had stopped, but Yongsun still couldn’t brush off the guilt she felt whenever she thought of that stupid bet.

She wished she and Byulyi couldn’t have met like in one of the dramas Soomin used to force her watch alongside her: she’d have bumped into Byulyi while walking down a hallway at school, and Yongsun would have made eye contact with her as she helped Byulyi pick up her books. Nothing would have been complicated.

Alas, life wasn’t a movie, and she would have to deal with her actions’ consequences, sooner or later. Yongsun hated it.

Sadly, that moment came earlier than expected for her.

She told herself she should have been more careful when it came to her phone, she should have hidden it better, but truth is, there were things Yongsun just couldn’t avoid, and this was one of them. Subconsciously, she knew she couldn’t have kept it in forever (even though Soomin seemed to have stopped caring altogether). Maybe she shouldn’t have forgotten her phone on the table, maybe she should have told Joohyun not to text her back yet, maybe she should have just turned off the damn thing, but there was no point in reliving the past- now, she just had to come clean.

The worst about it, is that text Joohyun had sent her wasn’t particularly revealing of the situation, a simple “Are you going to tell her the truth?” as an answer to a questioning Yongsun had been all it took. She could have easily lied her way out of the situation (as much of a terrible actress she was, she was strangely good at making up lies on the spot), but decided, for the sake of their relationship, or what little would be left of it, to come clean about everything.Yongsun had pulled the other girl into an empty classroom and told her the truth (ironically, it was the same classroom they had been in the first time they kissed).

As predicted, it hadn’t been pretty. 

“So, it was all a stupid joke to you?” The other girl asked, clearly on the verge of tears, “Some stupid, dumb, inane joke?”

Yongsun swallowed, hard. All the bravado in the world probably wouldn’t have been of any help to her in this situation. “No, it just started out-“ she reached out the other girl, who took a step back.

“Don’t touch me,“ she sniffled, wiping her nose with her sleeves, “Don’t you dare tell me it was just a joke. I bet you never even cared about me.” Byulyi couldn’t focus on anything anymore, she just wanted to get away. She couldn’t believe she had been stupid enough to believe Yongsun cared about her.

“I bet you and your friends were having so much fun,” She sniffled even harder, tears streaming down her face, “Laughing about how stupid I was. Oh, stupid Moon Byulyi, how could she be so dumb, thinking anyone would actually like her! I bet our entire relationship was just a lie to you too.”

Yongsun was completely distressed, she tried to calm her girlfriend down, “No, I swear, it’s not like that-“

“All you are is a fucking liar. If you didn’t care about me then, why would it change now?” Byulyi grabbed her bag and left the room, slamming the door behind her. Yongsun didn’t see her for the rest of the day. The feeling of guilt that had been plaguing her finally left and the much heavier burden of having hurt Byulyi had taken place there instead.

But if anything, Byulyi had been just as miserable. Maybe, if she had believed it was all a joke since the beginning, she would have been prepared for the unpleasant finally. But instead, she had let Yongsun in, but all Yongsun knew to do was wreak havoc in there. The little nagging voice in her head that kept telling her no one cared about her was right, the evidence was right here: her entire relationship was a joke. _Maybe her friendship with Wheein and Seulgi were jokes, too! Maybe she was just as obnoxious as she thought! Who knew at that point!_

She was spiralling. Hard.

She refused to tell anyone what happened that day, though. Wheein and Seulgi were both left wondering- whatever was going on with their friend seemed to severely affect her, yet couldn’t figure out why.

-

Byulyi was having yet another terrible day. She hadn’t been able to concentrate in class, her appetite had been nowhere to be found, and she could barely sleep at night, leaving her cranky and unable to concentrate in class. She didn’t think it could get any worse, before she bumped into someone on her way to her locker, dropping a few books.

“Sorry-“ she started, before stopping dead in her tracks when she saw who she had bumped into. “Oh,” she said, quickly picking up her books and trying to leave. She would have succeeded if it wasn’t for Yongsun somehow grabbing her harm and spinning her around.

“I have nothing to say to you,” Byulyi kept her head down.

“Will you please hear me out?” Yongsun pleaded.

“Fine. Be quick,” she said, raising her head, her eyes finally meeting Yongsun’s.

Yongsun took a deep breath, “I know what I did was wrong, but…” she looked around to make sure no one was eavesdropping, “But I didn’t lie about my feelings. I’m not- I’m not telling you to forgive me, but… I just wanted you to know that.”

“I- I’ve been thinking it over. I really can’t bring myself to hate you for some absolutely dumb reason,” she bitterly chuckled, “Which I won’t say out loud. But you really hurt me and my feelings, and I know maybe deep down you didn’t mean to, but in the end, you did and that’s what matters. I can’t be with someone who thinks this kind of things are okay.”

Yongsun grabbed Byulyi’s hand, “Please…”

“I don’t think I can trust you anymore,” Byulyi gave the hand a light squeeze before letting go, “At least not for now,” she turned around and left. 

Yongsun could only stare, silently wishing for forgiveness.

**Author's Note:**

> hum... sorry for putting you through this


End file.
